Or, I wish biology and I had gotten along better, because I think I should have been a herpetologist.

Today–well, yesterday now–I had a final client appointment for my freelance contract, after which I decided to head to the zoo. The pleasantly cool, overcast day turned sunny in mid-afternoon, as the days seem to do lately, and the temperature and light were perfect. I reached the zoo with just over two hours before closing, so I started with the Day Exhibit, which is mostly reptiles.

One of the Komodo dragons was restless. (OK, I’m jumping out of order with my photos–the Komodos aren’t in the Day Exhibit, but I couldn’t resist popping in to see them later.) Every time I’m at the zoo, I feel the need to take a jillion photos of the Komodo dragons even though I already have many, many pictures of them. I don’t feel that way about the giraffes. I didn’t even see the giraffes today.

I did get to see Chinese crocodile lizards mating (above), although they were so lethargic and I’m so used to the non-sexual cuddling of my spayed and neutered mammals that it took me a little while to realize they weren’t just snuggling. (My insomnia has been evil lately, too, and I’m going on something like seven hours of sleep over the last 60, so cut me some slack here.)

Above is the Aruba Island rattlesnake, a predator both more beautiful and less lethal, I’m quite sure, than Joran van der Sloot.

The speckled rattlesnake, which lives in parts of California, I believe, is a subspecies I’d never heard of prior to encountering two of them at the zoo.

And who knew we had our very own subspecies, the Northern Pacific rattlesnake (above)? A fairly innocuous breed, apparently, as no one has died of their bite in Washington State in more than 40 years.

I continue to be weirdly obsessed with the Gaboon viper. I’m not sure why, although I think it’s partly the short, broad body, so different than any other snake I’m aware of. I also like the dramatic contrast in their markings and the pale green color that the eyes appear to be, at least on this particular specimen.

The poet in me wants to wax eloquent about the cold, evil gaze of a born predator, but you know, it’s a snake. I’ve become very cranky about people applying moral judgments to the natural behavior of animals. Being a predator of the animal world does not equate to being a psychopathic monster of the human variety. Sharks are not Ted Bundy. Snakes are not out to get people (seriously, Dad, they’re NOT!). They’re usually more scared of (and hurt by) us than we are of (and by) them.

OK, off the soapbox. For now.

That’s a reticulated python (above).

As it turned out, I spent so much time taking photos of reptiles that I didn’t get to see the elephants, which I’d hoped to do. Chai, one of the Asian elephants, seemed to be freaking out a bit last time I was at the zoo, almost three months ago (can’t believe it’s been that long!). I know she gets amazing care and I’m sure she’s fine, but I still wanted to peek in on her. Really, if you’re an elephant, I think Woodland Park Zoo might be one of the best places to live, certainly as captive environments go. The three elephants have an expansive, world-class habitat with plenty of room to wander, activities and diversions, and private space if they want a break from being on display.

The first time I saw Chai, I was impressed with how happy she looked:

I was hoping to see her looking happy again. I spent too much time with the likes of these critters, however:

(Rhinoceros iguana, above; tentacled snakes, below)

Which begs the question, of course: Just how rough would it be for someone to become a herpetologist who could never manage to identify anything in a microscope because her eyelashes got in the way (it sounds frivolous but it’s true), who loathes math, and who took the bio core class that didn’t even count toward a bio major in college? (*Although she did ace that class, Field Biology, which consisted of dissecting owl pellets, wandering around the nature preserve, collecting leaves, and taking soil samples, and which required no microscopes.)

Yeah, I thought so.

Maybe I could be a herpetological photographer instead??