I just decided not to apply for a job for which I’m otherwise qualified because one requirement was “a strong social media presence.” I feel like this — and the even more invasive requirement to provide a prospective employer with links to all my social media accounts — crosses a line.

Look, I understand that companies who are hiring me to help with their social media want to know that I’m familiar with and can optimize various platforms. But I am perfectly capable of learning and utilizing social media sites for an employer even if I choose not to spend time on them myself — just like I can effectively use basic HTML and JavaScript, several different content management systems, AP and Chicago style, etc., for employers, even if they bleed over little into my personal web presence and writing.

I also understand that prospective employers want to ensure that I’m not posting sexy selfies, photos of drunken debauchery, or diatribes against a current employer. I’m not. Whether I have a legally protected First Amendment right to make such posts — a whole other can of worms — I’m not doing it. I’ve changed my Facebook photo from fun to professional, adapted my blog to be less personal, and Tweeted very rarely and only with a handle that’s nowhere close to my name. And you can ask me about my current freelance clients: I love them. They rock.

If prospective employers wanted links to my social media only to ensure that I’m a responsible, upstanding citizen and good employee, I would still be ambivalent. Many places don’t want personal references, only professional; so why are they then asking for access to personal information? (Of course, it’s arguably not really personal, since it is online.)

But my concern is more that these companies want to tap into my social media presence as a free marketing tool, and I am not okay with that. My friends and family are not resources to be exploited (as I once heard a marketing person refer to social media contacts). My job is not my personal life. If I need to set up a second account for work, I’ll do it (I’ve done it in the past). But my Facebook is to keep in touch with people I care about, not to bomb them with marketing jargon they don’t want to read. They already see enough of that in the ads that show up in their feeds.

And look: Everyone knows not to talk trash about an employer on social media. But I don’t think it’s fair for employers to dictate what you do say as well as what you don’t. I don’t want to talk about my job, period. Not to complain, not to promote, not unless I want to praise my employer of my own free will.

And I choose not to be on social media platforms other than Facebook, WordPress, and LinkedIn because I want to focus on other, more important parts of my life: writing, reading, working, looking for work, hanging out with my dog. It seems to me a better use of my time to do any of those things than to set up accounts on Reddit, Tumblr, Instagram, Pinterest, etc., etc. But if someone wants to pay me to set up a presence for them on those sites, I’m more than happy to do it — and confident that I could do it very well.