Yesterday marked two years since the advent of Rufus in my life, so to celebrate, I wanted to reflect on some of the things he’s learned and some of the things he’s taught me.

He’s learned…

–Cats are pretty awesome. He wasn’t sure at first; we cat-tested him at the adoption event and he seemed indifferent, then he came home and was trying to sleep in this strange new place, and Gorey (pictured below with him) kept rubbing her body all over his face and that didn’t go over so well. But eventually he realized that the cats were going to be his friends regardless of what he thought about it, so he graciously succumbed to membership in what Cleveland Amory calls “the cat-owned.”

–Food is good. When I first adopted him, he didn’t seem at all motivated by treats. At some point, though, he realized he liked food…and he’s gotten to sample a lot of it, including green beans, because of the next thing he’s learned, which is that..

–Aunties and Memeres are awesome people to have in your life. Not only do they share treats like veggies and Moe’s chips, but they also buy you the best Christmas presents, like the bone-shaped bunny shown with him below.

–Running is a fun thing you do when you’re happy and it’s a beautiful day and you’re with someone you love.

He’s taught me even more:

–About courage. There are multiple quotes about how courage isn’t fearlessness, but rather it’s experiencing fear and doing whatever you have to do in spite of it. I’ve never seen this embodied as vividly as in Rufus’ behavior.

–About trust. Whatever happened in Rufus’ previous life left him physically scarred and terrified, but from the beginning he has seemed willing to trust me. Striving to be worthy of that trust has made me a better person.

–About love. Ditto with the trust: He has taught me about love and forgiveness and opening yourself to new people even if the people you knew before haven’t always been the best.

–About giving shy dogs a chance: They have their own set of problems, and I’ve been fortunate in that Rufus’ are relatively mild and his personality is mellow and sweet (albeit very stubborn!). But based on my experiences with him, if/when I’m in a position to add another dog to my life, I’m going to look for another shy, fearful critter.

Because I hit the jackpot with this guy.

–About myself as a dog “parent.” Bishop, Rufus’ predecessor, was a wild child who needed firmness and discipline. I sucked at that. I have learned that I’m temperamentally much better suited to a dog whose primary needs are love and reassurance.

–About my limitations. I’ve been able to give Rufus a good life. But I can’t erase the scars or undo all the damage. Despite two years of treatment, he still has heartworms. Hair still doesn’t grow on the callused spots on his elbows. He still panics when he hears kids bouncing a basketball or riding a bike, and all he can do is make himself as small and low to the ground as possible and belly-crawl-run back home. Neither a firm hand on the leash nor a soft word can reach him when he’s in that place; it’s irrational, primal. I wanted a dog who could walk in the park with me, and Rufus can’t, at least not on days when sports teams are practicing. He travels beautifully in my friend Pam’s car (probably because her car usually means a visit to her mom, his Memere, she of the green beans and awesome toys) but cries when I take him on drives around town.

So I’ve had to learn to be okay with what I can give him and what he can give me, to let it be enough.

Because it’s clearly enough for him. I mean, look at this guy: